Dammit. Why do I always miss out on everything? I want to play too. I'm always on the other side of the window, watching everyone else have fun. I'm too shy and self-conscious. I hate it.
I just... Augh. This is always how it is. Every single cool thing and wonderful community I come across, I want to get involved in and never have the courage to do it. I just watch, hating myself and wishing I could be like the cool kids and sit at the cool-kids table. Because that's where everything COOL is, right? And even when I do get involved, I'm a selfish little brat and never notice. Grass is always greener etc etc
I just want to be involved in something. I'm lonely on the other side of this window.
Showing posts with label angst. Show all posts
Showing posts with label angst. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
In which Holly is a nerd about Slenderman
Hah, gotcha, this blog actually has basically nothing to do with music. My headphones are b0rked so I can't really listen to any at the moment, I'm useless at composing it, and... Well, yeah. I've always been fond of the words "Harmonic Paradox", though, so it's good enough for the title of my personal blog.
This is actually the first really personal blog I've ever made (totally not counting the one I used to write yaoi fanfiction when I was twelve. Ughhhh.). Other than this I have a Twitter (which I spam with useless things) and a Tumblr (which I less frequently spam with useless things.) And I guess there's also my UTAU blog, but that's more of a general information base for my UTAUloids than it is a blog. Haven't updated it in months anyway.
So aside from UTAU, what do I like? Video games, anime, writing... I absolutely LOVE writing. Usually short-fiction and such. I might post some here. NaNoWriMo is officially over now. I... didn't complete my novel like I meant to. I tried, I really did, but partway through it became apparent that I picked the wrong story, the wrong style, the wrong everything- and I had overplanned so much that I had no room to breathe and let my story be flexible. It was a disaster. My best online friend Ritz completed hers, though! All 50,000+ words by November 30th! I'm still reading through her novel, and it's awesome. I wish I had the patience and ability to stay dedicated to a project.
If there's anything I lack, it's an attention span. I fully expect to write several lengthy blog posts here for a few days, and then just disappear. That's how it usually goes. I probably won't use this account at all in a while, aside from commenting on other blogs.
Speaking of other blogs, my current obsession is reading Slenderblogs. Yes yes slenderman back out now holly you're gonna die etc etc. This ain't that kind of blog, folks. I'm really fascinated by the entire Mythos. The legend, the blogs, the pictures, everything! I can't say exactly why- it may be because I'm just generally an /x/phile fanbrat with a love for the paranormal, but this whole thing is something a bit more. What gets me is the whole community thing, all these people working together, writing, blogging, creating and weaving a legend together! And I'm watching it happen! It's so cool!
I kinda wish I could get involved in it, but I'm bad at writing fake blogs and I can't creep people out worth crap. And I've never actually seen a tall guy in a suit outside my window, of course. Haha. *knock on wood*
I'll just watch and enjoy the ride, I guess!
This is actually the first really personal blog I've ever made (totally not counting the one I used to write yaoi fanfiction when I was twelve. Ughhhh.). Other than this I have a Twitter (which I spam with useless things) and a Tumblr (which I less frequently spam with useless things.) And I guess there's also my UTAU blog, but that's more of a general information base for my UTAUloids than it is a blog. Haven't updated it in months anyway.
So aside from UTAU, what do I like? Video games, anime, writing... I absolutely LOVE writing. Usually short-fiction and such. I might post some here. NaNoWriMo is officially over now. I... didn't complete my novel like I meant to. I tried, I really did, but partway through it became apparent that I picked the wrong story, the wrong style, the wrong everything- and I had overplanned so much that I had no room to breathe and let my story be flexible. It was a disaster. My best online friend Ritz completed hers, though! All 50,000+ words by November 30th! I'm still reading through her novel, and it's awesome. I wish I had the patience and ability to stay dedicated to a project.
If there's anything I lack, it's an attention span. I fully expect to write several lengthy blog posts here for a few days, and then just disappear. That's how it usually goes. I probably won't use this account at all in a while, aside from commenting on other blogs.
Speaking of other blogs, my current obsession is reading Slenderblogs. Yes yes slenderman back out now holly you're gonna die etc etc. This ain't that kind of blog, folks. I'm really fascinated by the entire Mythos. The legend, the blogs, the pictures, everything! I can't say exactly why- it may be because I'm just generally an /x/phile fanbrat with a love for the paranormal, but this whole thing is something a bit more. What gets me is the whole community thing, all these people working together, writing, blogging, creating and weaving a legend together! And I'm watching it happen! It's so cool!
I kinda wish I could get involved in it, but I'm bad at writing fake blogs and I can't creep people out worth crap. And I've never actually seen a tall guy in a suit outside my window, of course. Haha. *knock on wood*
I'll just watch and enjoy the ride, I guess!
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