Dammit. Why do I always miss out on everything? I want to play too. I'm always on the other side of the window, watching everyone else have fun. I'm too shy and self-conscious. I hate it.
I just... Augh. This is always how it is. Every single cool thing and wonderful community I come across, I want to get involved in and never have the courage to do it. I just watch, hating myself and wishing I could be like the cool kids and sit at the cool-kids table. Because that's where everything COOL is, right? And even when I do get involved, I'm a selfish little brat and never notice. Grass is always greener etc etc
I just want to be involved in something. I'm lonely on the other side of this window.