Evil plots for the near future

No. Yes. Okay, I can do this. Okay. Okay. No more crying, Holly. Figuratively man up. I can make it through a couple more weeks of school. Just a couple more weeks, and then glorious Christmas break. I am totally looking forward to three weeks of time to rest, relax, and de-stress. Until semester finals, that is, but you know...

I'm thinking that, after the holidays, I'll start actively trying to lose weight. I've been whining a lot lately about my body, and frankly I'm sick of it. Time to actually do something with myself instead of sitting around being a gross fat teenager. I've been walking up to my sister's school every day to pick her up; it's a small thing, I know, but it's encouraging. One step at a time, you know. I wonder why I don't take walks more often. It's really nice being outside among the trees and the fresh air. As much as I love the internet, I think I need to take time away from it more often.

For Christmas I want a new pair of headphones. I have my eye on a really nice Logitech headset with a microphone; it looks fabulous. Hopefully the mic will be good for recording UTAU samples, because that's something I haven't done in too long. I want to record Sakiko Hanane ACT 4. Admittedly, ACT 3 wasn't too long ago, but I just feel like I haven't found Sakiko's voice yet. I think I'll try for a higher, clearer,  younger voice this time. It would suit her much better. I might also see about re-recording Haruo, since his voicebank was never finished and I think I could do a better job.

On a completely unrelated note, I have a plan. Don't anyone dare tell my sister about it. You know my sister, Michelle? Sweet, talented, wonderful 13-year-old? I love her lots. This is why I seek to scare her worse than she's ever been scared. You see, a while back, I was just getting interested in a certain internet phenomenon, and I wanted to share it with my sister so she could be terrified with me. Yes, I introduced a helpless child to Marble Hornets. Muahahaha keikaku doori etc etc etc.

My plan is to get my hands on a blank mask. You can see where I'm going with this. I want to make myself a replica of the Masked Man's Mask to creep my sister into oblivion. I just don't know where I could get the mask. I'm thinking of looking in Michael's (a craft store) for one, but I don't know... Maybe there's a costume store nearby? I wish I could drive so I wouldn't have to get a parent to take me. Dad's been away a lot, and Mom is sick with a cough, sore throat, and lost voice. Curse me for being so young and inept!

Any ideas?

Participation

Dammit. Why do I always miss out on everything? I want to play too. I'm always on the other side of the window, watching everyone else have fun. I'm too shy and self-conscious. I hate it.

I just... Augh. This is always how it is. Every single cool thing and wonderful community I come across, I want to get involved in and never have the courage to do it. I just watch, hating myself and wishing I could be like the cool kids and sit at the cool-kids table. Because that's where everything COOL is, right? And even when I do get involved, I'm a selfish little brat and never notice. Grass is always greener etc etc

I just want to be involved in something. I'm lonely on the other side of this window.

Late-night blogging

Well, actually it's only 8:46 pm, but it's late enough for this house.


I'm all set up upstairs next to a big window looking out over the front of the house. It's a really lovely neighborhood- Big trees, gardens, and Christmas lights; the latter of which I can enjoy in their full glory due to night having already fallen. It's just so pretty out. I want to go outside and take a walk or something, but it's too cold for that. Maybe if I did, the cat would follow me.


There's a little stray cat that likes to sleep in Nanny's garden. She's white with black patches, so that's what I call her- Patches. She's adorable, but loves to meow really loudly for food. Becky doesn't feed her lest Patches get all attached and needy, and anyway the house down the street does feed her, so it's all good. Patches is really friendly and often waltzes right up to me and lets me pick her up and hold her. I'm aware that it's not good practice to cuddle strays, especially when one has two very fragile indoor cats at home, but guuu Patches is so adorable and sweet, I love her. I wish Becky would adopt her, but there's already two cats here. :C


Everyone has already gone to sleep, so it's all quiet and dark here. I jump every time I hear the leaves outside rustle. It's a bit lonely. Ah well, I'm gonna be here all day tomorrow, so I'll get to hang out with Nanny, Becky, and Theresa then. I'll probably help put their Christmas lights up.


I think I'll go stare out the window into the darkness poetically for a bit.

New theme, yay

Changed the background of my blog. The orange stuff was pretty, but it looked gross when you could only see the parts of it that were covered by my half-opacity black column, and since my browser windows are usually pretty small, that's all I'd see. Since no one else is reading this, I guess my thoughts are all that matter as far as appearance goes, huh?

Instead I have chosen a purpley-pink-fading-into-orange thing. It's also very pretty, and less gross-looking when a layer of half-opacity black is on top of it. I haven't even looked at the pictures in the background gallery that aren't part of the abstract category. I loooove abstract photography like this. It can add a lot of atmosphere without being too busy or distracting the way regular photos can be.

But then, I haven't looked at anything in the background gallery besides abstracts, so I dunno. Maybe they've got some really perfect wallpapers in there. I should look, but... I'm so lazy. Plus, I'll be going to school in a few minutes. I'll just settle for not knowing, I guess.

I wish I could access Blogger at school, but this and all other blogging sites are blocked. So is Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, any and all game websites, etc etc etc. Since we're on computers all day in every class, it's pretty easy to get distracted, so they do all they can to keep us on task. Of course, we're teenagers. Where there's a will to procrastinate, there's a way. I personally don't want to use proxy servers and whatevertheheck my fellow students have been using, but sometimes I'm just tempted. Like when I have no more work to do and I want to catch up on blogs. :( I get twitchy when I have no idea if anyone's updated. Internet addiction, woo!

Speaking of addiction, I ought to post in my Tegaki E roleplay group soon. Urgh. I totally want to, but I always get nervous about my art... Tegaki E is a site where you draw blogs and artwork straight into a Flash-based drawing app similar to Paint with a mouse or pen tablet. People often start groups for art roleplay and such. I'm in two of these: An X-Men OC roleplay, and a Megaman Classic roleplay. I'm extremely inactive in the latter and I've come to accept that, but the former...

I'll blog about my X-Derp pals next update when I get home from school! It's time for me to go.

Gotta bounce!

In which Holly is a nerd about Slenderman

Hah, gotcha, this blog actually has basically nothing to do with music. My headphones are b0rked so I can't really listen to any at the moment, I'm useless at composing it, and... Well, yeah. I've always been  fond of the words "Harmonic Paradox", though, so it's good enough for the title of my personal blog.


This is actually the first really personal blog I've ever made (totally not counting the one I used to write yaoi fanfiction when I was twelve. Ughhhh.). Other than this I have a Twitter (which I spam with useless things) and a Tumblr (which I less frequently spam with useless things.) And I guess there's also my UTAU blog, but that's more of a general information base for my UTAUloids than it is a blog. Haven't updated it in months anyway.


So aside from UTAU, what do I like? Video games, anime, writing... I absolutely LOVE writing. Usually short-fiction and such. I might post some here. NaNoWriMo is officially over now. I... didn't complete my novel like I meant to. I tried, I really did, but partway through it became apparent that I picked the wrong story, the wrong style, the wrong everything- and I had overplanned so much that I had no room to breathe and let my story be flexible. It was a disaster. My best online friend Ritz completed hers, though! All 50,000+ words by November 30th! I'm still reading through her novel, and it's awesome. I wish I had the patience and ability to stay dedicated to a project.


If there's anything I lack, it's an attention span. I fully expect to write several lengthy blog posts here for a few days, and then just disappear. That's how it usually goes. I probably won't use this account at all in a while, aside from commenting on other blogs.


Speaking of other blogs, my current obsession is reading Slenderblogs. Yes yes slenderman back out now holly you're gonna die etc etc. This ain't that kind of blog, folks. I'm really fascinated by the entire Mythos. The legend, the blogs, the pictures, everything! I can't say exactly why- it may be because I'm just generally an /x/phile fanbrat with a love for the paranormal, but this whole thing is something a bit more. What gets me is the whole community thing, all these people working together, writing, blogging, creating and weaving a legend together! And I'm watching it happen! It's so cool!


I kinda wish I could get involved in it, but I'm bad at writing fake blogs and I can't creep people out worth crap. And I've never actually seen a tall guy in a suit outside my window, of course. Haha. *knock on wood*


I'll just watch and enjoy the ride, I guess!