Friday, December 24, 2010



This vacation has been pretty great. Lots of fun stuff going on in my X-Men RP group- My character Etain brought cookies and cocoa/booze to the X-Men and the Brotherhood. The former resulted in accidental dream-crushing and tears, the latter will most likely end in everyone getting extremely drunk. Aww yeah!

My sleep schedule's been wacky lately. Stay up until 7 on Skype and Tegaki, then sleep until 4! It's been fun. Maybe too fun. I was up until 5 last night on Skype with four of my best friends, and it was rockin' cool, but I think I got carried away... I'm a sleep-deprived kid with ADD who's been eating very little and drinking loads of caffeinated drinks, up in the wee hours of the morning... Of course I'm going to get carried away and make a fool of myself. I did.

I only realized it when we were near to wrapping up for the night, but I was really, really hyperactive. Crazy. Talking too loud and too fast, making dumb jokes, generally being an idiot in my attempts to be funny with my friends. I thought it was fine for me to go nuts with them. But I realized too late that I was the only one being so hyperactive. I don't know for sure that they're annoyed with me or are uncomfortable with me now; they certainly wouldn't say as much to me because they're really great people. But I know I would've punched myself. I wish I had.

I don't want to get too specific or anything (who knows who's reading this?), but something someone said really broke my heart. It made me realize that, no matter how close I am to my friends, they're all mostly older than me. I'm the kid, the baby. The hyperactive annoying little cousin. I hate getting whiny like this but I just feel like I'm not good enough to be close to them. The fact that they're great enough to put up with me just confirms it.

Ugh. I'm depressed today.

My dad's got his apartment all set up, and it's pretty nice. It's peaceful and quiet; I can't wait to go over there to play video games with him and such. It'll be fun.

Today was my mom and dad's anniversary.

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